F***** Up

this song is all about

how many stars

the censorship gave

this love is all about

how many stars

we can count till the end

this pain is all about

how many times

the stars played the game

i don't know what to do

you keep coming back

your faces all made up

with varied range of make up

we had a wild breakup

but we should know where to end

the stars they keep shining

the moods they keep changing

there's a desolation in your eyes

that tells me i should be leaving

the stars they shine they fall they break

they make you look hungry

they make me feel frail

within the clouds i know you shine

all alone and fucked up

this song is all about

how many stars

the censorship gave

this love is all about

how many stars

we can count till the end

this pain is all about

how many times

the stars played the game

Casanova

Casanova died two years ago

His blood is still trickling down the floor

I can't feel the fire within you

Neither can I feel the winter blues

You lie dead awake in a picture frame

Your body lay scattered in the butchers lane

You rose up but I brought you down again

Cause you never returned the kiss I gave you

In the coldness of the night

I see the ghosts pass me by

They say it will rain very soon

Can't wait to be drained out of you

Your desperate cries rings within

Your hurt expression makes me feel

I think I should put on the painted mask

And cry Casanova please return

Coward

The pills they stopped reacting

The thirst that never quenched

The faces they started changing

But darkness remained the same

How on earth I lived so long

Should have departed

Before things went wrong

Should have flown high

Might have reached you in time

But since I am stuck here

My wings fail to fly

Meaningless it seems

To live to die or to claim

What has never been mine

Within the clouds I would have been

I know you are there all alone

But is it me that you seek

Or is it tears that you want to shed alone

Coward the one who flies away they say

Doesn't matter what they say I will leave today

To meet the coward and be one myself

Special Friend

I fell in love with a stranger once again

I was smitten by her but i knew she was vain

Now I don't love her we call ourself friends

Sitting together lonely by the bay

I met another girl last night

Her eyes were wild and sweet was her touch

We had some drink together and ended up at her place

But I ran to get back to that very special friend

I feel so disillusioned

With the wild eyes and the wicked smiles

Hold me dear they might disappear

And tell me that you are there

Always and forever be

That special friend waiting by the bay

Then came another and another

Each one made my heart grow weaker

And no matter how I try to run and take a hike

They come back with vengeance on their mind

I got disillusioned

By the wild eyes and the wicked smiles

Hold me dear I want them to disappear

And tell me that you are there

Always and forever be

That special friend alone by the bay

Different Emotions

angry and mad i sit alone

on a desert land near a shore

trickles down the rain

or is it my blood that flows

wind blows me away

or is it you trying to take my place

 

it was joy when you loved me

it was pain when you left me

it was death when you came back to me

i was lost when you left again

 

i try to bite and crawl

to reach my unknown destination

i fight and laugh with bitter tears

and hide them for your sake

loved someone and everyone

but i seem to scare them away

 

it was joy when you loved me

it was pain when you left me

it was death when you came back to me

i was lost when you left again

 

why don’t i feel the tears of rejection

instead angry i am with my own reflection

they came and went by themselves

but my mind still plays its spiteful games

none can hold me close for i don’t let them

none can see me cry for i don’t shed them anymore

Butterfly

torn and mutilated from all sides of life

holding to the last thread is difficult

passengers pass by to the dreams they only dreamt

but never realized never felt the agony if they break

 

butterflies die with each strong wind that passes

times kill as memories starts to creep in

but life’s donjons opens up  in the strangest of time

and flowers also blossom in the coldest of nights

 

the thin wire is laid for you to cross to the other side

the breeze they grow stronger as you take your first step

but just before you take the last either the wire breaks

or the breeze sweeps you over but at least the gesture was made

 

for eyes so big that swallows the sea

for beauty that you behold in your lips

don’t let the cast crash below

for the soul inside is fragile

hold your breath just a little more

for you die choking or you survive

and flap those wings in difficult times

fly over butterfly to your wild desires

 

fly hard fly fast but never fight when the winds change to directions unknown

for the life is in the free flight not in distance covered or miles lost behind.

Unsaid

when we started when we ended

life is to short to realize

hard rain falls

making some laugh and some cry

as the clouds pass by in your eyes

 

hold on to the hands which belongs

to some known yet unknown

who doesn’t ask for more

who never makes the tears feel real

 

grief is yours anger is his to share

eyes remain wet bodies still warm

life keeps changing hollowness achieved

darkness wished but lights remain turned on

pages crossed for him but who reads it first

he who forms illusions in his head

those illusions you want to live in

he tries to forget whatever was meant

for no one opens up

the door is still locked tight

 

you know what eyes say while blinking

what gestures shout while touched in secret

then why this wall exists where silence rules

alone the days passed in arms not in embrace

nights passed laughing with no tears to shed

 

should the step be taken forward

should it fall back

or should hearts remain

uncovered forever.

Way she flirts

got out of my house

i walked down the street

saw some pretty face

that made me feel at ease

 

it was morning

it was noon

it was late late night

i still waited for you

 

i cant hear myself

in the crowded street

cant see no more

what is good for me

but i still move on

just to catch your breeze

 

the way you flirt

the way you kill

the way hurt me

you make me feel weak

 

way your motion

sets me free

but it just an illusion

that i didn’t foresee

Blank

blank i stare

the lights still blinking

but they don’t hit the right chords

fails to compliment the right mood

 

how difficult is it

to stay calm and silent

hiding the frustration of a lonely heart

measure the weight before carrying

 

how the winds

have changed its course

swept by breeze in sudden motion

still vacuum prevails in stillness

 

love once held

so close so near so dear

paused going to be stopped forever

wouldn’t rise even if the body falls dead.

They said to each other

she said that he left her

to hurt her but she got over

the pain that was felt strongly

but slipped her mind

as they changed the conversation

 

he said that he left her

for reasons unknown

but now he regrets her

for tears wasn’t only her own

and finally darkness swept them over

 

now the fingers

doesn’t touch the other’s

as they walk side by side

shoulders doesn’t brush

against each other

and the eyes doesn’t match

so does nothing else

which once mattered.

 

the lane has altered

it leads to some other house

in some other corner

but past is never forgotten

they remain unremembered

 

like clouds crossing the moon

the hollowness creeps within

the corpses which once held life

now hangs rotten to the core

few moments away from extinction

She left me

She just left me

In an early morning flight

Left me cold and bitter inside

I don’t know what is wrong what is right

But I will remember her in the hardest of times.

 

But life will move on just the same

With no information about regrets

The nights will shine just the same

And I will think of her over n over again

There is no point to feel sad

Cause we never got drenched or held each other tight

 

Its so hard to forget

The beauty that she was

Way she talked me into the spider’s web

The gentle eyes and her proud chin

Has made its mark in my twisted brain

In hope I live to get a glimpse

Of her in some part of my life.

 

But life will move on just the same

With no information about regrets

The nights will shine just the same

And I will think of her over n over again

There is no point to feel sad

Cause we never got drenched or held each other tight    all night

Oh Darling

Oh darling

I won’t come in to your life again

But please spare me the pain

And set me free

In distant horizon

                    

Oh darling

Please don’t come into my life again

And please set me free in the wilderness

Within my dreams

 

I have left the past behind

Long ago

But still the shadows fall

In my door

I want to know

I just want to know

What the breeze told the trees tonight

Did you get to hear the whisper?

That no one has heard before.

 

Have you seen the tears fall?

From the moon that didn’t shine tonight

And all the distance of horizon

Has rebelled against the time

 

I just fly above

The cool breeze

that makes me feel high

but I stay awake

to see the light

in your eyes disappear

Beast

the silence of the green fields

was broken by a desperate scream

the shrill voice surely reached the sky

but was to faint to enter the ears

of the villagers who lived within a mile

those who paid attention to what they heard

thought that some wild beast

is either pouncing on another one

or is giving vent to its own agony

the probability of a beast was stronger

for the village was surrounded by a wild jungle

but alas it was not a beast

but a refined version of it – a human being

again the silence returned

this time more haunting than ever

 

the rage is passing away

but an uncomfortable feeling

was gaining prominence within

the hearts of the village Daroga

who was standing in the field

near the boundaries where from the jungle starts

the green grasses received dews of blood

as he dropped the bloody stick on the ground

the blood shot eyes of the Daroga

was fixed on the naked body

that was lying on the ground

beside the corpse of the man he just killed

the ravished body was too much repelling

but his eyes were set on it

the blood the bruises were all blurred

only the known face was attracting his attention

the Daroga took off his shirt

wrapped the body and picked it up

there was still some life left in it

 

he walked towards his jeep

he looked back saw the deceased beast

lying dead over the green field

he placed her gently over the passenger’s seat

and returned to the crime scene

he had forgotten his stick he picked it up

and again traveled back to the jeep

he drove towards the bungalow across the field

while driving he kept his eyes fixed

on the dusty road ahead

he knew he had killed one beast

but soon would have to face many of them

Cloud

Look at my mother

Look at my father

Look at my brother

Don’t look at me

 

I’m just a cloud

Passing the sun

Brushing over the

Deep blue sea

 

For I’m here

Just for a while

As a fleeting glimpse

You can talk to me

 

Tell me you’re happy

Tell me your worry

Tell me your fear

Tell me what you see

 

If you’re sad

Growing mad

Take my hand

You can come with me

Heartless Company

All she wants is company

In the heart of darkened streets

All she finds is memories

Where she don’t want to be

 

The world just came here to see

How you tackle your day dreams

They clap and they see you cry

It is a heartless company

 

Did you lose all relation

Were you ditched without affection

Did you lose your imagination

Have you no emotion left for me

 

Next time when you walk the night

Remember to take that wrong lane

You would find my warm embrace

Where you might want to be

A Pointless Conversation

Unpunctuated thoughts

Of unfavored relations

Incoherent words here and there

Like a patched up memories of past

 

Blurred out realities

Of unrhymed emotions

Reasons cease to exist

An abrupt stop

A pointless conversation

Doesn’t depend on words

The blink of an eye is enough

To say the innermost thoughts

 

Why complicate such simple feelings

For snobbish critics and their light readings

Sun

What do you have to offer me

What salary you have thought for me

In your dreams in your wildest imagination

I am not your slave you can’t even touch me

My strength is immense more powerful than your intellect

You survive because of me and my strength

You die because of me and my revenge

 

After millions of years you betray my creations

Remember the day when you sat afraid in a cave

Fearing my dominance my tyranny my rage

You combined your wits to capture my rays for yourself

 

Just try to put your fragile feet on my head

I will burn you before you take a step ahead

Hunch Back

Soil and sand scattered stone chips

Dry leaves and a dirty rag

Few cigarette buds a broken glass

A scratch card with no prize

Polythene sheet and paper mask

Foot marks paw marks and tyre tracks…

 

Red blue and green

Ribbons side by side

Shadows of trees and birds

Against the shadow of mine

Another mile another trail

Of foot prints left behind

 

Pains gathered through life

Has bent my neck

I can’t see the sky

Clouds stars the pageants of light

Stare deep stare hard

A red sandal is as good as sunrise

Lunch Break

The sun glides in

Over the promising blank page

A child sits alert

Beside the Tiffin box

Lies a crayon set

 

A flower should he draw

Or a hut where he wants to stay

Or the kite that he saw

Dominating the vast firmament

Should he draw his school bag

His shinny shoes or a bunch of bees

Or a face with viridian green

 

Before the crayon touched the page

I woke up my duties await